Letter #11
Camp 86th Regt NY Vol. Culpeper, Va
Sunday, April 10th 1864
My dear Sarah,
I am glad you have betaken yourself to my sermon paper, for your last was a good full letter and furnished me a real feast. I was inclined to set down at once and answer it, but the ghost of my unwritten letter to the Presbytery forbade. I have just come from preaching in the chapel and as it would be wrong to make any mental effort in that direction now can with ease spend a part of the afternoon with you.
This is a beautiful day after a most severe storm, the hardest that I have ever experienced. We were completely drenched. The rain beat thru the roof as thru a sieve. A good attendance at church although our Rgt is out on picket. I preached from the words “How shall we escape if we neglect so great Salvation.” You see I didn’t prepare my sermon on the “Unsearchable Riches of Christ.” Indeed I find so little opportunity for study and writing I am almost discouraged. It is hard to sit in a small room & think when from one to a dozen are chatting by your side. A lawyer would be better able to do this than a minister who has always been accustomed to a quiet study. I think my only plan is to go off in the fields or woods alone.
I own, Sarah, you guessed rightly, that I have not been in a very joyous mood lately. I can’t a/c [account] for my unhappiness except in this way--- Homesickness, resulting from some prospect of getting home with causes continually arising to prevent. As all prospect is now clean gone, I shan’t grieve over it any longer. Shall be content till November.
I stopped just here to have a piece of the splendid mince pie you sent me. Another cause of low spirits is the consciousness of how very little if any success in my work. I will let you in behind the scenes. The profanity in camp is really dreadful. I never, never listened to such strings of horrid oaths. Officers and men all swear, and I can do but little to rebuke them. Unlike at home, my presence seems to furnish no restraint. Should I rebuke at once I should lose any hold that I may now have over them. Oh: How it grates on my ears & saddens me. I believe it is much a matter of fashion first & then habit. I every day feel that I want to run away from it since I can’t stop it. The Officers & men are kind but will not show respect by ceasing to swear in my presence. Drunkenness has been on the increase since our return. The Suttlers bring in liquor weekly. There are severe restrictions, yet they elude the officials & smuggle in loads. I have had a talk with our Suttler & angered him. Have threatened to complain of him if thru his means we have another scene such as I witnessed last week, when at least ½ the Rgt. Col., Capts & men were beastly drunk & rowed it till midnight. But what can I do vs. all this. The generals higher up drink and get drunk. It also is fashionable. I talk to officers & men in private but my efforts, I feel, are but as a feather to stem a torrent. In a few words I stand with my hands tied. “The good I would, I do not.” And yet the men boast of their chaplain & compare him favorably with others. Qr.Master assures me that I am doing all I can but it seems like wasted time. It may be that bad weather & homesickness have exaggerated the evil. Have started a debating meeting that calls out considerable interest. Shall hold prayer meeting each evening this week. Skittles must leave the Army before 16th inst so all citizens, extra clothing & baggage sent to the rear preparatory to moving. I should like to go too for 10 days. Col. Cummings is back again. He gives me a grand description of the Sanitary Fair in New York. I judge that it far surpasses anything ever gotten up in the world. Exceeds the World’s Fair. I propose to suggest to you to go & see it. Go to spend a couple of weeks in New York with Ma. Take things easy and at your convenience. Take Lulu & Satie to see the wonders of the fair. I don’t know how well informed on the matter you have kept yourself. They tell me the buildings are scattered in different parts of the city. Both the girls would appreciate & enjoy most they saw. I want them to improve every opportunity to understand the struggle thru which we are passing. Write me what you think of it. Ma, Pa & Celia [HJA's sister] would be glad to see you.
I suppose the church [in Amity, NY where he was pastor] have acted on my resignation. What action? I am fully agreed with you in the wish to leave & commence anew in some pleasant home. After my release from the Army I trust that I may obtain a settlement in some pleasant village. Have not yet relinquished the plan to prepare while here for such a place. Don’t know what the Presbytery may say to my leaving. I have asked Mr. Ferrier to try to go to Presb. So as to give me an a/c of their doings.
I think I would sell the Secretary if I could for as near $75.00 as possible but not less than $50. Think that in all your calculations for the future better reckon on my return home this fall or next Spring at the latest. My ambition will be satisfied by that time & I can work my way honorably out. The Army are pretty unanimous in the belief that this Summer’s Campaign will end the war.
It is now nearly two months, Sarah, since I saw you. A longer time than any that has separated us since our marriage. How earnestly I wish this afternoon which has clouded up & become dreary & rainy since I commenced writing that I could be with you. I think we could make sunshine within doors. From your last letter I fear that you are desponding. I would cheer you up with assurances of good times coming. When among your friends in Andes the summer will soon pass away. You will become interested in watching the various movements on the great chess board of actual strife. And if victory crowns our efforts, as we can confidently expect, you will welcome me home for a permanent stay. True, it is not pleasant to be unsettled as we now are. But if this be preparatory to a better location we should regard it a good. The same thoughts in reference to the children which you expressed have been much in my own mind. These are golden hours for Lulu & in a measure for Satie. I would make home attractive for their sake and ours. Quite lately in one of our Rel. papers read an article on the subject, intended to send it to you but have lost it.
Tuesday Eve. Have come in from prayer meeting. We hold them each Eve. Excepting Monday & Thursday which are given to our debating society. We have neither sent or rec’d mails for the past 3 days owing to the destruction of railroad bridges by the recent floods. Yesterday morning a chaplain in our Brigade died --- an attack of fever from exposure to wet & cold. Another one has the small pox & today was not expected to live. Thus two from our small number of six [chaplains assigned to the regiment] are taken from labor. We are paid off tomorrow. I will send by Express to Warwick to you. Please enquire from time to time of Express Office. Will pay all charges here. Write me when you receive. I send you a view of our camp & Reg. It is too small & indistinct but will give you an idea of our shanties. It was taken while the Rgt. Was in dress parade. Also the card of Capt. Mapes of Florida. Will write a letter to the girls next. Did they get my flowers? [nearing the bottom of page 4 and scrunching his handwriting] Sarah, I wish I could tell you to night just what is in my heart. It would require a longer love letter than could be written before morning. I know I shall enjoy commencing again [continued at top of first page; upside down] heart letters. As a proof of the value of your last I have carried it in my pocket & read & reread it many times. It carried me back seven yrs. to when that occupation was much of my life. Send me often such and separation from you will be more endurable.
With ever increasing love,
Your Henry.
Letter #12
Camp 86th Regt. NY Vol., Culpeper, Va.
April 20th, 1864
My dear little children, Lulu, Satie & Harry,
Since Mama has told me that Harry has two teeth, I think he deserves to share in this letter along with my two girls. He must be quite a boy, and I have no doubt but that he will understand something that I write. This morning all the soldiers in our Division went out on a Review. I wish you could have seen them. The sun was shining brightly. The fields looked fresh & green. The Blue Mountains stretched away in the distance. And as far as you could see, the white tents of the soldiers crowded the hill sides. At 9 oclk the men, dressed up in new clothes all alike, with brass plates on their belts, clean & bright guns and white cotton gloves, began to form lines in their company struts. [streets?] Then our large new silk flag was taken from the Colonel's tent by 6 or 8 men called the Colorguard. 3 men with fifes & six with drums marched with them to a grass field right by the camp. As soon as they were there & began to play the different companies came marching out led by their Captains. They formed in a straight line standing side by side all looking the same way. 10 companies make a Regiment, and there were 400 men in our Regiment. There used to be 1,000, but as they have been fighting 3 years, 600 have been killed or died or are now sick. Soon the Colonel, Major, Doctor, Adjutant, Quarter Master & I rode to our places. All this time 24 other Regiments were doing the same thing in fields near their camps. When a bugle was blown from the General's house they began to march out. The General first and the Regiments one after another with their officers.
When we march four men walk side by side the Captain by the side of the first four men of his company. The Colonel & the Adjutant march in front of the Regiment, all the other horses behind. How nicely this long line of men, nearly 10,000, looked as they marched through the fields. The review consists in standing in a straight line while the General & his officers ride quickly pass, & then marching pass the General a whole Company in one line. To-morrow we have a corps review when General Grant will review us. But enough said about this. Unless Mama explains it to you I am afraid you won't understand it.
April 21st. Yesterday afternoon the Doctor & I took a long ride to Pony Mountain. From the top of this mountain we can easily see the tents of the Rebels on the other side of the river Rapid Ann. The grass was so high in some places that we stopped to let our horses eat. At one place we passed through the garden of what had been a large house. There were different beds. Some of strawberries, cabbage, onions, etc. The walks were lined with Gooseberries & Grape Vines. A large quantity of fruit trees were yet standing & the flowers were in full bloom. I thought how happy some family with little girls & boys must have been in this home. But war made them leave it and if they ever return they will scarcely recognize the place. How they must have cried when they moved away & turned to look back for the last time on their happy home. I trust that you may never be obliged to leave home so.
I send you some wildflowers picked from the top of Pony Mountain. I was very tired & hungry when I got back to my tent so I opened the box & took out a piece of white frosted cake, threw myself down on the bed & had a good rest.
What do you suppose I found in the box today? A little mouse's nest. The cover had been left partly off & they had come in & made a nest of twine & paper. We have a great many mice that come out in the evening & run about the floor. This afternoon I received Mama's & your letters. I shall try to answer yours sooner hereafter.
Now, Lulu, what books are you reading now days? Are you studying Geography & teaching Satie? Perhaps you had better try to write a little. How very much I would like to walk out in the pasture with you all. If I had “Billy Brown” there he would give you a real good ride. Billy has learned to talk to me a little. He knows me as far as he can see me and always pricks up his ears and says “ hee hee hee!” I suppose he means “How do you do?” He likes to put his knose under my arm. And will follow me about like a kitten. I wonder if Harry will learn his letters before next winter. I was very glad that Uncle Will came to see you.
We expect soon to leave our houses & go marching off still farther away from you. The soldiers to-day were ordered to boil their beef and have it ready to pack up at any moment. I am all ready to commence the summer's work. The sooner commenced the sooner ended. Continue to be good children. Pray for your dear Papa that God will keep him well & safe, and we shall be so happy when we meet again. I have something to say to Mama so with many kisses I will bid you “Good Night.” Your Papa.
My Sarah, I hardly know what to think of the action of the church in reference to my resignation. Like you I don't know now how I would like to have the matter end. I don't like to bind myself to stay in an indefinite length of time by accepting their leave. Neither do I like to run counter to plain indications of Providence as shown in the vote to have me remain. I wrote such a letter to the Presbytery in reference to the dissolution of the Relation that they may think best to grant my request if the people are willing. Reverend A. Seward also knows from a conversation I had with him in going to Elmira that I think it best to leave. I don't know of anything I wish preserved in the furniture line. Don't want to keep my desk. Did you put May or June in the Resignation? The furniture should all bring high prices now. Higher than 1st cost. Don't sacrifice much on the new. I don't need my boots so do not send them. Can get Govt shoes which will do for a change. I presume you will see in the County papers an answer from Colonel Cummins to an address from the Daughters of Orange on the occasion of the presentation to the 124th Regiment of a New Flag. Please preserve a copy as the composition is mine. The Chaplain in our Brigade who had the smallpox died last Friday. You box full furnished a grand treat. Have now only the frosted cake & some walnuts left. Many thanks to Mrs. Post for the nice cake & Sugar. What
[continued upside down on page one] ever of business matters you wish settled with me had better be done soon as all letter writing will probably be stopped for 2 months. If you leave house to return again in the full perhaps some one will take the grounds in and live in the kitchen, the other rooms being well locked & the key left with a responsible person. Am surprised to hear that Dr. turned traitor but suppose it is from extreme devotion to the branch.
Goodnight now, my dearest, maybe I will visit you in dreams. Your own Henry.
Letter #13
Camp 86th Regt. In the field near Stevensburgh
Friday Eve. April 29th 1864
My dearest Love,
You letter came safely to hand freighted with love for the heart & food for the mind. It has been read & reread. I have found a way of making your letters answer much the purpose of a real conversation by having your daguerreotype open before me as I read.
In this way I seem to see you speak. How very much of happiness they afford me! I fully second your desire that they shall speak more of our mutual affection. Whatever of business or news matters your letters may contain I linger most upon & reread oftenest those sentences that come from your heart. I do long for a return of the bright life which was ours when first our hearts responded so confidingly to each other. From this time forth let us cease robbing each other of the chief delight of life---a full pure knowledge of our love. You have little reason, dearest, to think your life a blank when you know how entirely I depend on you for happiness & for stimulants to action. My Sarah & my children! Even Sarah in my children---for have you not by unwavering toil & care made them what they are, so that they but reflect your image? That indeed were a blank if you were not. I would pray to be spared from ever experiencing it. What would Henry be without his Sarah?
I received today Mr. Ferrier's letter conveying the proposition of the Congregation & also a brief statement of the action of the Presbytery. I am more than disappointed in both. It could not be otherwise construed without an implicit charge of duplicity on my part.
I send you loving kisses, darling. Let us meet in dreams.
Rumour is that letters now will go [?] You may not get this soon & I may not hear from you in a long time. We moved from our shanties on Tuesday. Now live in tents. Ready for a march on the enemy. Expect to leave tomorrow & then a serious fight. God speed the right!
I am in excellent health. Every thing ready for the march & think I shall be able to endure all. I shall not needlessly explore myself but hope to be found where duty calls. To-night read the April & May Nos. of the Atlantic Monthly. The Adjutant & I take it together. You will surely go to New York & visit Ma with the children before going to Andes. Suppose you will go via NY. Did the children get their letters?
Should I get suddenly sick or injured I shall be properly cared for by the Officers & sent to Washington where, if necessary, you can reach me. Word would be immediately sent you by telegraph or letter. I say this that you may have no anxiety. But should I be taken away before we can see each other I have no wish than that all mine be yours and the children's. That you live for them. That you secure the pension of $20 per month from the Gov't your due. That as often as possible you & the children see Pa, Ma & Celia & give each a remembrance from me. And that there may be a happy re-union of the family in Heaven.
Gov't owes me pay from March 1st at rate of $118 per month. This you can collect. Quarter Master Brown will attend to my horse. He is the proper one to address on the subject. In case of death in the field the officers will, if possible, secure & send home the body. I care not where my mortal remains are laid but prefer that your wish should govern.
I am saddened while writing this at midnight amid the silence of death except the tread of the sentinel before my tent. And you will be saddened when you read. But our mutual love will reach beyond the grave & continue eternally. God's blessing in care, comfort & strength be ever upon you & ours, my Sarah, is the repeated prayer of this father &
Your Henry.
[upside down on page one] One word to my little girls & Harry before going to bed. I should like to give you a good night kiss. I dreamt of you all the other night. The dreams awoke me while I was having a good time with you. I am gradually getting to the bottom of the bag of nuts. Thank you much for so nice a present. I shall carry my coffee in the empty bag on our march. Good night & may you dream sweetly of Your Papa.
Letter #14
Fredericksburgh, Va.
May 18th 1864
My darling,
Our mail for the past two weeks came into this city today just as on the first time when we visited the place from our front eleven miles farther South. Our wagon & supply trains are here & so Quartermaster came to get oats, change clothes see chum & seek change from the saddening sickening scenes of hospital & field.
Oh! What a terrible struggle in the Wilderness & at Spottsylvania in the Breastwork Creastworks. At our division hospital alone after the 1st fight we had 1400 wounded men. Since then we had 900 – about 2500 in all. Only that the men are left for duty in the 86th . Our poor men have been in front & most of the time under fire from the 5th till today. I am most of the time at the hospital. Tho I go to the Rgt. every day. The men are glad to know that I am ready to care for them if wounded at the Hospital & are yet glad to see me when I come on the field with any words of encouragement. I can write you now nothing of the battles. It will take weeks to settle in my mind what has been so constantly pouring in during these eventful days. But we are rejoicing in victory & hopes of an early peace.
I am well tho worn out. With hair cut close to the head. Whiskers off. You would scarcely know me. Your 3 letters were all received and oh what oasis in the desert! I think we shall receive more regularly hereafter. Mr. Ferrier's also. Quite satisfactory. I have concluded tonight to stay at Amity. From your last letter think this will meet your wish. Mr. F. says stay 2 or 3 yrs. & help us over a poor place. I think it our duty. You can communicate this decision to Mr. F.
Please plan some way to have our vines & trees well taken care of during your absence. Ask Mr. F. if it would not be best to plow the pastures & plant with corn. I will write a communication to the [?] soon. Our Rgt. & others being so much under consolidation will probably take place as soon as quiet is somewhat restored. If so I shall be able to slip out.
Many thanks to my little girls for their precious flowers. Satie's act in placing a bouquet in my study was quite touching. I trust I may soon see my little fairies. Love to all my people. I write in a tent full under many disadvantages so goodnight my love. Tomorrow I go back to duty.
Your Henry
Letter #15 - [pencil]
Fredericksburgh, Va
May 19th 1864
My darling,
I wrote you last night but as that may not reach you I send by Lt. Houston to Washington. I am well tho much worn. Rec'd your letters last night. Enjoyed a rich feast in reading them. Also one from Mr. Ferrier. From what he & you wrote I decide to remain two or three years in Amity. Tho I can give no assurance of getting out or even trying hard to get out of the army in the fall. Only 75 or 80 of our effective men remain. 124th ditto, 50 others. Consequently consolidation will probably take place at the 1st quiet. Then I shall in all probability be able to ship out. Please tell Mr. Ferrier that & that I will write to the church committee. Have our trees and vines well taken care of during your absence. Perhaps better have the pastures plowed & sowed with corn if it be not too late. Or potatoes.
Hope you are not too far advanced in leaving for good. I am not with Capt. Benedict. Go next to see Col. Cummins.
In love
your Henry
Write me often
Letter #16
In the Woods near Petersburgh, Va.
Tuesday June 28th 1864
My dear little 6 yrs. old Lulu,
I know this is a great day at home for you, and I too feel that it is a great day for me. You will have a grand good time & I hope will be very happy. I have concluded to celebrate the day by writing you a long letter on this great sheet of paper.
And first let me tell you how much I would like to spend this day at home. The first thing I thought of when I awoke this morning was “This is Lulu's birthday and she is 6 years old.” And then I thought how funny I felt six yrs. ago when I became a “papa.” And next I thought how rapidly these 6 years have passed by & how soon from a wee bit of a baby you had grown to be a good sized girl. I then looked at your photograph & tried to imagine how you looked when 1st I saw you.
And all morning I have been thinking how good God has been to you & us. While some other little children are weak & pale & sickly with much pain. He has given you almost perfect health. While others have been naughty & unhappy, a trouble & annoyance to all about them, He has given you a happy disposition and a desire to please others, so that you have been gay & happy and a great joy & comfort to Mamma & me. From the time that God first gave you to us until now you have filled a large place in our hearts. And I sincerely thank him today for giving & keeping you to us. And for making you just what you are.
Sometimes, I know, you have been naughty & unhappy and made us feel very sad: That shows that you have a wicked heart. God alone can change that heart. I believe you have & do now ask Him to make you better, to take away all the wicked thoughts & feelings & make you entirely good. He will hear & answer your prayer. And you will love God because He is so good and Jesus Christ because He loves us & died to bring us to Heaven when we die.
But where are you today? I think at Andes. And perhaps you will have a few of your cousins to spend part of the day with you. As 2 yrs. ago when you were 4 years old. I was with you then & thought we had a pretty good time. I wish you would write me another good letter & tell me just how you spent the day.
Evening. I was interrupted in writing by some friends who came to talk with me. And then I went to get some farina made for the 150 sick men in the Hospital. I carried it around, each man held out his tin cup & I filled it half full. All the while saying something to cheer them. We had a good dinner & tea. I was glad it happened so because I thought it was a kind of celebration. For breakfast we had beef steak & soft bread with coffee. At dinner pork & beans, pickled cabbage, farina, corn starch, bread & LemonAde. For Supper farina, bread & tea. Now we considered this grand.
My 2 horses are hitched near the tent and our table is outdoors. We don't always have enough oats & grass for the horses. But John had just been down to the supply train 10 miles & procured a good supply. Spread a blanket on the table & put on the eatables for Dinner. Then he fed the horses a good mess, after which he said “Chaplain, all is ready.” After I sat down he stood away & said “Now look there enough for the horses & enough for us. We have nothing to do but to thank God & serve Him.” The tear started in his eye & he went & sat down on a bag of oats to think & rejoice over our favorable condition. I hope to bring him home with me when I come. He wants to learn to read and I wish you would send me some little primer with the ABCs & spelling words & short sentences.
But Lulu what do you intend to do for the next year? If you live to see your 7th birthday you will be larger but will you know a great deal more? You will if you learn something every day. I wish you would try & do it. I am glad you have that nice little book with a verse for every day. Couldn't you learn that verse? I hope that the coming year may be a happy one for you.
In a little time we shall be all together in our own house & then we will try to make each other happy. I think if I could be home now I would like to tell you & Satie a story every day. And what grand times we would have. You don't know how much comfort your photographs afford me. When I look at yours & Harry's I think what good care Lulu takes of her little brother. You & Satie will try to set him a good example & he will grow up a boy that we shall all be proud of. Good Bye now. I send you as my birthday present very many kisses. Your Papa.
My Sarah,
I sent off my last letter in a hurry. So will take this page from Lulu for you. My health continues good. I feel as well as ever and spirits buoyant. We have orders to go as regiments in a sort of summer quarters. The prospects are that we shall remain here a number of weeks. The men need rest & cooler weather for active movements. Yet Grant is bringing in great guns & perfecting our lines. Affairs look hopeful. We are confident of final success. Our Regiment now numbers 600 men. Veterans from other home-returning regiments. Hope to receive a letter from you tomorrow. Atlantic for July came today. I trust you will take a good rest this summer. If best get a girl to help you with them. How much I should like to see you when we meet more robust, more flesh & color. Let big Harry learn early to take care of himself.
Four months pay is due tomorrow. Shall send to you when it comes. Would like to invest all surplus in Government Stock. Perhaps also our other funds. If you favor the plan talk to William about it.
We receive mail daily & regularly. Please give me an account of your journey from Amity to Andes.
Oh! How hot it has been! I trust the hottest part of the season is past. It is cooler now after a shower. I don't know the number of Merton's [?] Battery. Doubt whether he will be brought to this Army. I hope you are all well. I think as I write how likely that you or one of the dear little ones might be very sick perhaps dying. We can only pray that God would deal with us as in the past. I was disappointed in not receiving your photograph. I love to look at you as you were to me 7 years ago but should also like to see you as you now are. I wish as a special favor you would send me what you wrote on the 27th of May.
Good bye for the present. With increasing love, Your Henry.
Letter #17
Near Petersburgh, Va. July 15th 1864
My dearest Sarah,
I think I have rec'd two letters from you since I last wrote, the last day before yesterday, both sent from Andes. I am glad to learn that you are so pleasantly settled at last. Think you and the children will enjoy keeping house better than boarding. I should like to look in upon you to see just how you are located. What room do you have for your own exclusively? Any garden or grass plot? While I think of it let me ask, did you uncover the honeysuckle at the corner of the back stoop & give it anything to trail upon? If not I will write to Jimmy Ross. By the way I hope he will succeed in exterminating the weeds from the garden. They had about mastered me.
I feel an interest in our old home & am anxious that everything there should be kept in good order & yet I do not feel at all confident that we will ever live there again. I will send you a copy of the letter I sent to the church. I am debating somewhat the question in my own mind & with others whether a higher duty does not call me to remain with the Army until the country's great danger is over. Is it right at this crisis to go home? Suppose all should so judge? And personally I would not after a little rest at home become dissatisfied with doing so little when so much is demanded?
If the war should cease how gladly I should enjoy the rest of home & a quiet field of labor! I think in my last letter I wrote you what I then conceived to be the best plan in reference to the matter. Now I am a little in doubt whether or not that is the best. In this state of mind I am poorly prepared to write to the church. Am glad Mr. F. said they were in no hurry to learn my decision. Yet I must write very soon.
Oh how hot it is. John has pitched my tent under a tree & put over & around it the leafy branches of trees so that but a few of the sun rays can enter & yet the heat is very oppressive. One here feels a dull pain in the head & a quickened beating of the heart when the sun shines out full & clear. I am now sitting on the ground in the tent nearest the side where the slight breeze comes.
Did you read the “Atlantic Monthly” for July? I was much pleased with “The Wife's Story” & an article on “Mexico.” The Monthly & Evangelist come to me regularly. We get Washington papers one day old viz. The 15th on the 16th. And New York papers 15th on the 17th. The 6th Corps of our Army is gone to Washington to operate in Maryland. Our Corps, the 2nd, is detached from the Army of the Potomac & may go the same rout (rather, route). The canons from the different forts & breastworks are blazing away more briskly today than usual. I think the fall of Petersburgh & as a result Richmond, is now only a matter of time. And the time may come sooner than we expect.
Our division is lying in camp ½ mile from the division hospital. My work consists in distributing to the weakest of the 140 patients farina or corn starch gruel 3 times a day. This furnishes me an opportunity to speak with them. There are 4 surgeons & 4 chaplains at hospital now. The rest with their Rgt. Chaplain Porter has charge of the Sanitary Goods getting to City Point & distributing, I of the weak patients (the remainder are fed by the cooks). Chaplain Bradner & the others stay in their tents somewhere up in the woods.
Major Murray of 124th of Goshen (you remember he was reported killed last summer) staid with me a week. He came to the hospital sick & I took him in. I send you his card. He was very grateful for the attentions I could show him. Capt. Sayer of Warwick had previously been with me two weeks. Capt. Finnegan of the same Rgt. is now under my care. Said Major Murray one evening as we sat together “Chaplain, it seems strange that I should be here & you taking care of me when the chaplains & surgeons of my own Rgt. Are within a stone's throw but I am glad to be here.” I answered “And I am glad to have you.”
John always does his best to wait upon & cook for visitors. One day we were to have for dinner two officers of 124th beside the Major. John looked troubled when I told him. Said I “Do the best you can.” And the dinner was a good one. With what we had & what he obtained thru the servants at other tents he completely filled our little table with a snf. [?] variety.
I feel a little anxious when we have company & can now more fully appreciate your feelings under similar circumstances. There is comfort in my motto “Do the best you can.” I have put before a guest just two hard crackers & a cup of coffee without sugar & milk & was not at all ashamed because it was all I had. I am glad that I have been able to gain the confidence of & establish a reputation among the officers & men of the 124th. Aside from present satisfaction it will be a help & pleasure in future when we all return to the county. While on the matter of reputation let me indulge my vanity by giving you a few expressions which have done much to cheer me in my work.
Capt. Finney of 86th was wounded in arm in Wilderness & I attended to him in common with the rest of the wounded. He went home, has since died. Just before his death in writing to an officer in the Rgt. He said “Tell the Chaplain I shall never till the hour of death forget his kindness to me while in the hospital.”
“How do you do” said our Brigade Purveyor as I was one day riding by his tent. “You are Chaplain 86th I believe. Well I have just come from the West & while there saw pieces about you in several papers in Indiana as saving the lives of men by caring for them in hospital.” In a letter from Quartermaster published in Steuben County paper he says “Our chaplain gives his whole time & energy to the care of the sick & wounded.” “You are certainly a model chaplain & the only one that seems to comfort us said a wounded Cavalry man in the Officer's ward as I came in with paper & pencil to write a letter for him according to promise. “That is so” said another. “And we would starve without him” said a 3rd. In writing the letter I found that this man was the son of a Methodist minister, had 2 brothers ministers, to one of whom settled in Glen Cove the letter was written. Other remarks & actions less pointed but no less expressive assure me that my labor is not entirely in vain. But enough, perhaps too much of this.
How I should like to see our Harry! Since you last wrote I think often of Satie & him going about hunting for mischief. She a little witch much as I imagine you were when young. But I thought that he was too much of a boy to be still driving his (and I may say your) life from you. In that matter at least I think you had best commence at once “to train” him aright.
From your list of prices I feel you are embarrassed with your finances. I know that $100 can't go far now and that it is 4 months since you rec'd that. But payday will soon come & I do hope that you will manage without borrowing or depending upon your relations. I would rather write Mr. Thompson or Ferrier or Williams to send you a check for a sufficient amount. When I do send how shall I? No express to Andes, I believe. I have thought to send to Celia with directions to leave where William or someone from Andes could call for it. Do you board with Lucy or keep house yourself? Do you have any correspondent in Amity? I must find one since you have left. Is Peter & Genie back?
I am now busy on my monthly report to the Adjutant General U.S.A. of the General History & Moral Condition of the Rgt. My health is entirely restored. You need have no fears of a relapse. I believe the sickness was a part of the acclimating process & that I may now be considered initiated in the “Sunny South.” I send Lulu a wildflower, very pretty & fragrant when picked. Resembles sweet pea.
John wishes to be remembered to all. Said he would like to send something to the little girls. Goodbye now. Think I will send you a copy of my monthly report for preservation. I have written you a long letter yet unsatisfactory. Want to talk to you & stay with you & try to make you happy. If I were sure a daily letter would make you “fat” you should have it. Kisses & much love for you all from your Henry.
Letter #18
Field Hospital 3rd Division 2nd Corps.
Near Petersburgh, Va. July 21st 1864
My own Sarah,
I have not sent you daily letters but I shall come somewhat near it in sending two to your one. I have just finished copying monthly reports to send you for preservation. Debated a little between writing to you or to the church. And, am sorry to say, took up the easiest. I may feel like writing the other this afternoon. If so will send you a copy of that also.
I have today received my first military honor --- been promoted to be Chaplain in the General Hospital at City Point. The Director of the Hospital sent up to the Surgeon in charge of our Div. Hosp. To send the name of the chaplain in our division best qualified for the work. Dr. Evarts asked if I would like to go and sent down my name. The recommendation was sent by the Director to General Birny [?] of our Division who will make the detail. I expect orders to have in a day or two. They tell me the situation is a responsible & laborious one, but I trust I shall be enabled to discharge faithfully all its duties. I have transferred all my duties here to Chaplain Bradner and he is now busily engaged. I spent Sunday forenoon with Chaplain Porter & a delegate Christian Com. In visiting the 10 wards of the hospital holding religious services in each. On Monday called on four chaplains & arranged to hold “family worship” each evening in each ward. Each ward contains from 20 to 30 men. They are much pleased. One evening a man who was delirious said “Chaplain, Sing 'Come ye love the Lord.'” I asked him to start it, which he did, & we sang it with good effect on the men. Sunday afternoon Bradner & I held unions services with our two regiments. Each made remarks.
I intend at City Point to carry out the plan of “family worship” and adapt whatever else will be for the spiritual good of the men. I understand that much time must be used in correspondence with the friends & relatives of the sick. I dislike to leave the regiment yet feel that I can accomplish far more good there than with them. In the fall when the campaign is over will probably rejoin them.
I wish you would note & send to me suitable passages & extracts of 10 to 15 [?] chapters as you come across them in Bible reading. Suitable, I mean, for reading to sick soldiers which may form the base of a few remarks. I find that 10 wards a day soon exhausts a stock tho to some extent the same ones can be used in different wards. I will write you immediately when reaching City Point.
Friday 22nd. We received official intelligence last night that Sherman has defeated Johnston. Taken 15,000 prisoners & some canons. Also that a junction is formed between Hunter & [?] in the rear of the Rebels who made a raid in Maryland. Their baggage & spoil train captured & hopes of the capture of the men. All feel here that we are on the eve of heavy work which will result in the fall of Petersburgh & Richmond.
On Tuesday we had the first good rain in six weeks. It has been hot & dusty. Much trouble to get water. Men had to dig wells & guard them. You need not be anxious about my rations. The Sanitary Committee supplies the sick well with delicacies such as canned milk, fowl & fruits, lemons, pickles, farina, corn starch & crackers. It is thought not for those who care for the sick to use sparingly of these. We can buy new potatoes, fresh bread, oats, turnips & cabbage. Also dried apples, beans & rice. At City Point I shall be at their Depot of Supplies. And it will be my own fault if I do not get what I need. Received a letter from Celia this morning. All well at home.
Saturday Evening. Here I am at City Point in my new home. Just come from Supper. Have an iron bed stand, straw bed, white flannel blankets, feather pillow & case. Fly net over the whole. A large hospital tent assigned to me, room as large as our kitchen. John is delighted and I somewhat thoughtful. Afraid the style of dress & living here will draw too largely on my purse. Don't want to appear mean yet shan't be extravagant. The surgeon in charge kindly asked me to join his “mess.” And incidentally he told me that he is obliged to accommodate at his table very many visitors. This is the center. Everything to the Army stops here & also from the Army. From the front officers in crowds visit City Point. At meal time & for the night what so natural as to remember that these are in the hospital officers from their own division & to seek them out?
But I can write you better in my next how I prosper & what arrangements I make. Had some ice cream in the doctors' quarters. Saw Grant ride thru the streets. His Headquarters are but a short distance from here. Shall hold service in the hospital tomorrow.
In future direct to me – omitting the regiment: 3rd Division Hospital 2nd Corps City Point, Va.
I must close to get this in the mail tonight. I see a number of ladies here, nurses etc. from Sanitary & Christian Committee. How I would like to have you look in upon this city of tents & occupy with me for a while! Goodnight, dearest. Many kisses for you and our dear little ones.
Your Henry
I put in a horseman that was taken last April on a windy day --- a failure, yet a likeness. Don't make it public.
Letter #19
3rd Div 2nd Corps Depot Hosp.
City Point, Va. Aug 10th 1864
My dearest,
Your letter came to me Tuesday night as I was holding “family worship” in the wards of the Hosp. I had just come from the bedside of a dying man who dictated a letter to his sister. I felt sad and needed just what your letter afforded to cheer me up.
The soldiers appear to like the meetings we hold among them. My Div. has 3 sections--- 6 wards each, each ward composed of 3 hosp. tents. Each tent holds 8 cots; 4 on a side. The Delegates are here in large force. I have had 3 assigned to my Div.—one to each Sect. I supervise their labors. Each Del. Holds worship in his Sect. each eve. & I take turns in going with them. So that I can visit all in 3 days.
Each day I go thru all the tents to mark & attend to cases of need. On Sunday preach in the Div. at 5 P.M. and once in 3 Sundays at Corps headquarters. My turn for this next Sunday. Shall take my theme from the great Explosion. What a terrible wreck and ruin that made. I hastened to the spot immediately & found the road covered with pieces of wood—saddles—men, horses, shells & balls, a leg here, head & part of a body there. Some dead, some just alive. We dug the men out of the ruins at the risk of our lives for there were stacks of ammunition still unexploded & the fire was raging among the rubbish. 3 barges lying at the wharf unloading ammunition were shattered to pieces, the wharf & houses about completely demolished & probably 100 beings sent to Eternity. Our Hosp. is ¾ miles from the point yet balls and shill were sent beyond us. The Explosion occurred yesterday at noon. That morning I intended to go to the Express Office to send money home for a man who died. Several times I started to call John to saddle the horse. Had I gone the nec. Delay would probably have kept me at the office which was blown to atoms.
I am busy this week seeing to the erection of a chapel for the Corps. Also in securing a system for securing to those who die here proper Military & Christian Burial.
I sen you by mail a check on Sub Treasury NYork for $400 on Monday or Tuesday of last week. Did you receive? Think you had better take stock in Andes Bank. I would like Warwick but it is too near home. I will send you $100 next week. Was just a day too late to see Mr. Lee. He came to the Hosp. Had to come to get his pass. Should like to have sent a couple books. I will order Atlantic & Evangelist sent to you. I can get the reading of them here. I go up to the Rgt. Occasionally & hold meetings with them. Col. Lansing came back last week.
Was rejoiced to know of Harry’s safety & your own. So he is independent of you at last. You say you were obliged to wean him. Did the necessity arise solely from your late sickness? To meet you all again in health will be the greatest treat of my life. It is now a half a year since I saw you last. In all probability but a half of that time will elapse before I shall be with you again.
It has been proposed to me to obtain the position as Post Chaplain in a hospital in Washington, Alexandria or Philadelphia where I could have my family with me. What do you think of the plan? I have this to say that but for the separation from you & children I should be quite contented with my place & work.
I enjoy the consciousness of working where profit results of labor are quickly manifest & encouraged. Only during our revival in Amity did I feel at all as well satisfied as now.
Thursday. Passing a tent in another Div. this morning I heard a man raving, his leg off. “Mother, Mother, let me finish my work, let me go to my Regt.” Two men could not hold him. I sat down beside him & said “Your mother is not here, Comrade, but kind friends are standing beside you.” He still raved. When I asked “Did your mother ever sing to you?” “Yes.” “Shall I sing something?” “Yes” I sang “In His Home in Glory there remains a land of rest.” Then I told him I would read the list about those Mansions & that rest. He lay perfectly quiet while I read a few extracts. Then I sang “O! Sing to me of heaven when I am called to die” When I finished he was sleeping. Poor singing had done what two men by force of arm could not.
But my most interesting meetings have been among the Contrabands. There are large camps of them—men, women, & children. They do washing for the Hosp.. One day I went down to the shore of the Appomattox when they were washing for our Corps. Said I to one “Auntie, did you ever think you would come here?” “Oh! No” “God has made a great change in your condition in a month’s time.” “Yes but I am terribly concerned about my husband there & children. They tell me that they will be taken from me.” I told her she need not fear & as others gathered about said “How would you like to have me come down here tomorrow (Sunday) & tell you about it & preach to you a little.” She said “That would be so handsome.” At 9 o’clk I found about 150 gathered on the bank of the River in the shade. And there I preached to them Freedom & Christ. “Would you like a prayer meeting here tonight?” All hands went up. I told the men to make seats by placing boards over the half barrels. In the evening fully 300 were present. I opened the meeting & left them to conduct it. Their singing was delightful & impressive, especially the choruses.
One I shall never forget “I am on my road to Glory I really do believe.” In prayer they use words & sentences with little reference to connection or logic. One said “We are glad dat do our sins be high like mountains and as black as crimson. Dere is blood enough in de balm of Gilead to wash them all away.” “And now we pray for the united world, for Virginny here and elsewhere.” Appointment made for the next Sunday evening at which time a still larger number came together. Two went with me & said they never in their lives attended so good a meeting & felt so near to Heaven. About a dozen held up their hands for Prayer. Next Sunday Eve. We meet again in same place. How much I wish you could see us. My seat is a barrel placed near the river, a white cloth over it. On either side & in front till way up the bank you see the invariably white dresses of the women & the dark figures of the men. On the top of the bank the Sentinel is walking his beat. Off in the river lie Gunboats, Steamboats & barges. All is dark except as the moon & stars give us light. And these immortal, precious souls for whom died hitherto in bondage & kept in ignorance now like children anxious to be fed. I shall do what I can for them while I am here.
Am glad Charley is sold. Shall surely write to Mr. Ferrier & the Church before the week is out. But, Oh dear! What shall I write?
I is very sickly here now. You say “It always is in a hospital! But the men are coming in from the front too fast. This month & the next will be trying ones. Three surgeons are now with me. All 3 sick with Jaundice. We have our tent floored, ice water constantly & plenty of lemons from Sanitary. I go about with blue Govt pants, Sanitary socks & slippers & a brown checkered calico shirt with a collar of the same a la Byron. Have not worn coat or vest since the heat commenced. Today received from Sanitary Committee a white cotton shirt opened all the way down in front, provided with buttons however labeled “Patriotic Circle of Marietta, Pa.” Perhaps our good friends, the wives of Philip & Ostriw have fingered it. My shirts under the frequent boilings to which they had to be subjected shrank so much that the collars reached but little more than ½ way round my neck.
I have obtained a spelling book for John so that Lulu need not send. I saw in some Scotch Presbytery paper that a Rev. Mr. ____ has been settled in the Presby. Church in Andes. What kind of a preacher is he? I intend to send to The Evangelist next week an article on the “Hospital at City Point.” If we go back to Amity, in what way can we best get the people to understand that we must have an increase of Salary? Six hundred now would fail to give us a suitable support.
Afternoon. Have just come from the next tent where are the other 2 chaplains of the Corps. Have had a long & earnest discussion on the Judgment, Heaven & C_ [?] The Expressions in the Script. Literal or figurative, which? And am provoked & sad to find that both, one a Methodist, the other a Baptist, believe in a severe literal interpretation. Real gold [?] & wall & fire & brimstone & C_ [?] I did not expect to find in these days so gross ignorance. No wonder that men of learning look with contempt on much of the presentation of Divine truth.
When you write again please address as above, otherwise the letter may go to the Field Hospital. And for “Rev” please put “Chaplain.”When are my little girls going to write to me? It is long, long since I heard them talk. I would like two sheets full of their prattle. I don’t have much to say about our ladies here. I think that after a short time spent in this service women become masculine & indifferent. They appear coarse & forbidding. Still I think the army is no place for a woman. Yet I could much like to have you with me a few days so I could show you war in all its phases. I almost forgot how you look. Think you must send me that photograph for your face and those 27th May [their wedding anniversary] lines for your mind & heart I have sent you my whole body a [on?] horseback. But for my heart I can’t sufficiently show that. I find a fit expression in the two lines we sing “I love you, I love you and that you do know. But how much I love you I never can show.”
Your Henry
Letter #20 – Oct 23 1864
3rd Division 2nd Corps. Depot Hospital
City Point, Va. Oct. 23rd '64
My darling,
I want very much to see you and the little ones tonight, especially since our little fairy is sick. I can't explain the fancy I have & have had that she more likely than either of the others may be taken from us. [In fact, she was the first of his 5 children to pass away, in the plague of 1918] I don't believe I love her more than I do Lulu & Harry but she is so good, so gentle, so peculiarly affectionate that I often fear God may claim her for his own. You have often heard of parents & friends saying “I thought she was too good to live.” I don't believe the doctrine but in some way have a similar impression. Yet I pray God to spare her & her sweet disposition that she may ever be our pride. If she should grow worse I trust you to have me immediately informed. And now, while I think of it again, let me say that I think you need use great care in you represent open house vs. colds. I remember that I thought frequently the first few days while with you of the free ventilation that you had. When will you probably get in the new house?
My health continues good. I am growing quite full again in the face. My new whiskers help somewhat to make up appearance. Our hospital is but scantily supplied with patients. Spent two days with the regiment. Preached in the evenings to 86th & 124th. There is strong opposition manifested toward my leaving this fall, both in the regiment & here. You know my equipoise in reference to the matter. I confess that I question the policy & duty troubles me not a little. At times I feel that if I were not committed to the church I should stay here till the war is over. Perhaps I shall have more light before the close of November. There is no interesting revival of religion in progress in the hospital. A few days ago 36 soldiers rose for prayers. Every evening brings some new ones who are seeking Christ. I still continue Sabbath evening service among the Contrabands. Must very soon close, however, on account of cold. The masons have just completed a fireplace & chimney in our tent. It has been exceedingly cold for a few days. Did you get Harpers' Weekly? I only ask to learn whether or no papers go through sent from the Army. I shall send the girls a little very soon. I am ashamed that I have delayed writing so long. Thought the best way would be to say nothing about it but I waited to receive yours. I shall try never to be guilty of this again. I have enjoyed some rich visits with you in my dreams of late. I suppose that when uncomfortable we sleep less soundly & can remember dreams best. Behold the omen explained! Goodnight with many kisses.
Tuesday. This is a beautiful morning. It would make a fine day for a PicNic. I think of the children running about now undressed. I quite enjoyed the news that Harry discovered you & cried for “Anna & Satie.” I want to send Satie some little book for being so good during your absence. Will be glad to send any to Lulu that she needs to read. There are a number of commissioners in the Army now distributing ballots. Shall be glad to see Will. Have not heard of the arrival of the 144th. Shall try to find it so as to see the boys. Kenyon[?] is in the Regiment. I sent my ballot & a letter to Mr. Ferrier. I had a very strange dream last night & was glad to wake up & find it no reality.
Good bye now. Perhaps only a month will still separate us. I know that if the war closes I shall much enjoy the quiet of our home. Continue to be happy in the assurance of our close attachment. With much love & many kisses.
Yours forever
Henry
Letter #21
3rd Division 2nd Corps Hospital
City Point, Va Oct 31st '64
My dear little Girls,
The bugle has just sounded the supper call and all excepting your papa are hurrying to make the most of the invitation. John will have mine ready about dark. I mean that all who are able are hurrying to Supper. Very many walk slowly because they are sick. Others hobble along for they have been wounded in the leg or foot. Others go slowly so as not to jolt themselves. These have their arms in slings or bandages about their heads covering the ugly holes which bullets have made. But the larger part of the men stay in their tents & beds. They are too sick to walk. Yet they must have something to eat. And so the nurses, mostly boys & young men, are running about getting & carrying to them their food. It is very hard to be sick at all, but especially away from home and away from the comforts & conveniences that we so much need. But the men bear all patiently, all the while supported by the hope that they may go home soon. How very much we all think of home! The place where our loved ones are, is over painted so distinctly by Memory that we lose sight of the many disagreeable things in the place where we really are.
Nov. 7th. O dear O dear! Just a week ago I was interrupted while writing this letter & so my little girls have been kept waiting to hear from their dear papa. And tonight I would much rather be sitting in the rocking chair with Lulu on one side & Satie on the other while I told you a story. I think I could write a story but feel too unwell to try. In a little while I hope to be home to stay. Then for many a pleasant hour during the cold winter, sitting by a comfortable fire I think we will feel just like eating apples & drinking “good cider.” I was very sorry to hear that our little Satie bird was sick. If I could have left the army I should have come home immediately. But I am interrupted again & must give up the idea of writing a long letter to you this time. GoodBye, be good little girls. Take good care of Harry and look for your papa before Christmas time.
My dear Sarah, If you only knew exactly the case you would forgive me for not sending you a letter sooner. Think of election time at home & judge what it must be here. Have been busy in getting New Jersey soldiers from hospital & regiment home. Probably 1000 have gone. Then secure all the votes of New York & other states to send home. Yesterday was election. Pennsylvania voted in the hospital. 300 votes were cast here from that state. Result 211 Lincoln 89 McClellan. Hope the country will do as well. Please give me the Andes result. Shall expect a good report. Am suffering from bronchitis. Ministers' sore throat, cough about the same as at Ferriers. Think I shall make it the grounds for leaving the army. Received letter from Ferrier. In haste for mail.
Yours with much love,
Henry
Letter #22
3rd Div 2nd Corps Hospital
City Point, Va. Nov. 13th 1864
My own darling,
Your letter which came tonight has made me very sad. First because it tells me that you have been unhappy, & second because I have made you so. I have been exceedingly remiss in writing. That I know & have deplored. And selfishness has caused the remissness.
It has seemed unsatisfactory to write. To note events & matters of daily routine merely seems cold. To give heart experiences, especially of emotions that center in you is to me a work almost impossible.
Hence I have shrunk from the attempt. I have too little remembered that I ought to write for your comfort. I ought to learn from my own joy in receiving your letters how much you prize mine. I am sure, dearest, if you were here tonight I could convince you that “indifference” has nothing to do with the great neglect. Could I pin down the thoughts & feelings of which you are the object you would daily receive a letter of many sheets. And while reading you should enjoy the happiness that was ours during many delightful hours of our late reunion. Those hours of perfect bliss have been reproduced by memory again & again. You would be pleased to know what slight words & scenes suffice, thru association of ideas, to bring them back. Especially are those hours dedicated to you which I spend alone in my tent before a cheerful fire before retiring for the night. I am sitting in this way now talking to you & I would enjoy it more did not my pen make so poor a medium for the conveyance of thought & feeling
I have been anticipating pretty speedy return home. At one time I thought the middle of Nov. would find me with you. A difficulty about the throat commenced troubling me two or three weeks ago. I could not speak with any comfort above a conversational tone. Finally Dr. Watson forbade my preaching and talking in the wards. He examined my lungs thoroughly & found them perfectly sound tho considerable trouble in the bronchial organs. Took medicine & applied [crton?] oil. And have found relief. When I last wrote I had determined to ask in a day or two for a certificate of disability & base my resignation upon it. This I would easily have secured. But very unexpectedly both Dr. Watson in charge of the Div. & Dr. Burmeister in charge of the Corps. Hosp. Were releaved & ordered to their Regiments. New men have taken their places. Nearly all Regimental officers have been thus removed & their places filled by U.S.A. Officers. There is not left now a single officer in the Corps who was here when I 1st came. And my “Summons” may soon come. My cough is better & my voice stronger tho I should not dare undertake to preach yet. As soon as I become somewhat better acquainted with the new officers I shall broach the subject to them. And this must needs be done within the next two weeks to fulfill my promise to the church. If I do not succeed in getting a certificate from them I shall send in the resignation accompanied by “a statement of facts.” And I am by no means sure of the result. I think it would be better for us both not too highly to anticipate a return to Amity this winter. I shall write to the church at once if the decision be not favorable.
Since I last wrote you a serious fight near the South side road. It was at the time of the supposed general movement for the capture of Petersburg & Richmond. The Division became completely surrounded & lost heavily. Col. Wygant came to the hospital wounded in breast. Major Murray was wounded & again fell into the hands of the enemy. Capt. Finnegan of same Regiment was killed. I at once wrote to Mrs. Murray & have rec'd a fine letter in return. We had Capt. Finnegan himself embalmed & sent home. Dr. Thompson disgraced himself & will be dismissed from the service. When the action commenced he left the Regiment for the rear. But there was no rear. Becoming frightened he tied his white handkerchief to a stick & so traveled about under “a flag of truce.”
Met a squad of our men under a Sergent. Told them they should not fire if they chanced to meet the enemy but should surrender. Met a small lot of the enemy, sent over a request that hostilities should cease, that they should go together & if they met the rebel lines he would surrender his men & V.V. By chance they came into the lines of the 5th Corps. The Sergent at once performed charges vs. the doctor and he was put under arrest & will be court martialed. Sic transit gloria mundi. My Regiment met with but little loss. One Lt. wounded & a few men. The old officers of the 86th are nearly all gone. Some killed, some mustered out on account of wounds & sickness & others resigned because of expiration of 3 yrs. Service. The Colonel leaves soon. Quartermaster is home on sick leave.
The election excitement is over & our President re-elected & the country saved. I exerted myself with the New Jersey State Agent in getting the men from that state home to vote. I think nearly a thousand went home. We furloughed 100 from this hospital. The Pennsylvania soldiers voted in the field. There were just 300 votes cast in this hospital from that state. Lincoln 211 vs. 89. I learn indirectly that Murray is defeated for Congress in Orange & Sullivan.
I am very comfortably situated here. Good tent & fireplace & a good tent mate, Dr. Lehune. John still feeds & cares for me. We have a Pickwick Club composed of the surgeons & myself. Meet every other evening for mutual improvement. Not many patients now in hosp. & but few deaths. Have been reading some back Nos. of the Atlantic. I know not why your No. does not come. Someone in 1 Shindagen route may be reading it.
Will had saved $1500 worth of Andes bonds for me to be taken Dec. 1st. You have $1200 which you will hand over to him then. I shall be able to bring $200 if I come at that time. Otherwise will send as near the time as possible. Perhaps it would be well for you to make this explanation to him now so that he may dispose of the surplus to others if he does not wish to wait.
I am rejoiced to hear that the children are all in good health. Am glad to think of you in your nice, new, warm quarters. Did you rec. last Harpers? I have not forgotten Satie's book. Please say to the dear little ones that when I come I will tell a good story to make up for the poor letter I wrote them. And when I come, dearie, I will tell you more of love than I have expressed in this. I shall indeed be glad when we are settled alone in our home with our little ones to nourish & to enjoy. It will seem much like commencing life anew. Goodbye now with a full installment of love till the next.
Your Henry
Letter #23
3rd Div. 2nd Corps Depot Hospital
City Point, Va. Nov. 28th 1864
My dearest,
I dedicate to you the last evening of the 31 years which God has permitted me to live, and in the last 10 of which --- the whole of my manhood --- you have borne so great a part.
In the review which I take tonight of my past life I find that much, very much of it has run to waste. These misspent days & years & opportunities I bitterly regret. How much more I might have done. How much more I might have been! In school & in college my standard was high and attainable. But alas! The necessary efforts were not put forth & I have failed. I have ever been ambitious of the name & fame of a good speaker & preacher because of the influence they possess. I have made spasmodic efforts in the direction but have not been equal to the necessary steady, persevering toil.
How many broken resolutions lie strewn along the course of these 10 yrs. How often a good speech or sermon has enkindled an enthusiasm & a determination to commence striving for the ability to do likewise! How often an article or a mere sentence has stirred me anew to make use of and cultivate the powers which God has given me! I have often been humbled to see mere plodders occupy positions & gain the homage which I feel I could secure with one half the labor. Yet I suppose they succeeded because they were plodders. I confess I look with diminished expectation on the next decade of years. Yet I do wish to do better & make greater progress toward my ideal than in the last 10 yrs. For this end I intend to husband my time more and pick up & collect truth wherever it may be found. I also want to use more care in conversation and, as the only way to secure better diction, method & logic in discourse, prepare carefully what I wish to deliver.
But as I mark & regret my failure I am made to wonder at the Kind Providence that has so signally favored & enriched me during these same years, This Providence I recognize chiefly in my meeting you, the union effected & the immense profit & happiness of which that was the source. I would be unmindful of one of my chief blessings did I not acknowledge with gratitude the ennobling influence that you have exerted on me during the whole of these years. A strong influence from a character which I am glad to see so largely reflected from the children which God has given us. This has made for me a happy home --- a home for which I long tonight over the great distance that separates us.
This same Providence has secured for us a large amount of comfort from those to whom we have ministered. How He has drawn the hearts of friends to us! Our only pastorate has been a pleasant, if not a famous one. I am thankful that I was ever sent to this people. And that as an instructive episode I was sent here to labor for souls and our country. On the whole in looking over the past I can testify “Surely goodness & mercy have been about me all the days of my life.”
I am very tired for I have today completed & sent off my monthly reports for July, Aug., Sept., Oct. & Nov. Work which should have been equally distributed throughout those months. I have written my resignation but have not sent it. Am waiting to receive a certificate from Dr. Watson. My cold is gradually improving. Think that care at home will bring it all right.
I regret to hear of our loss at Amity. This makes me still more anxious to leave here so as to secure what may remain. I know that the fastenings of the doors & windows were no security vs. robbers if any wished to enter. I trust that the trustees will at once institute search & bring the guilty parties to justice. I fear that the bin was opened. Would it not be better to have those things removed if still there? Am sorry we had not given the kitchen & one room to Kate Luckey or Mrs. J. Feagles to occupy till we came.
There is considerable stir about us now. Dutch Gap is said to be completed. It is expected that there will be a land & naval movement jointly. I expect that both Petersburg & Richmond will fall and Lee's army receive a thrashing. Dr. Thompson has not yet received his sentence. The findings of the Court Martial have been sent on to Washington for approval. He wanted me to write his wife a letter of condolence. A difficult task --- Have not done it yet. Think I shall not.
We are still having delightful weather. So warm that a fire is scarcely necessary for comfort. Have seen only a few flakes of snow. Ice about an inch thick one night.
I received your last letter very unexpectedly last Saturday evening. It was none the less welcome I assure you. It made my Sunday more bright. I have read it several times already. It is my practice to keep each letter till its successor comes. It furnishes a sort of text to start from whenever I wish to think of you & home.
Lulu's letter is a little gem. I shall keep it a long time. The letters are finely made. She must have improved much since I was home. Well, it is the hard study & the try, try again that makes things come about right. Soon I suppose I shall be getting a little piece of paper with “Satie, Papa” on it. And perhaps one with “Harry, Papa” tho I scarcely expect that last unless Mama holds his little hands.
I want very much to see my little children in your new house. I expect I shall say as Harry did “Nice room!” I hope that by the middle of next month I shall be with you. Then for a sleigh ride perhaps all the way to Rindout! [?] That would about make up for all the rides I lost last winter. The big heavy guns are making a great racket tonight & many soldiers are suffering. How thankful we should be for our warm & comfortable quarters. Good night all my loved ones. Goodnight, my dearest love, a sweet sleep with the little gems, your second self. May Heaven's best care be granted you & His best gifts descend upon you.
With many kisses
Your Henry
Letter # 24 – The Last
Headquarters, 86th Regiment New York Volunteers
Before Petersburgh, Va March 12th 1865
My darling Lulu,
I suppose Mama has left home to meet me in New York; and as I want to visit with you all a little while today I must write to you because you are the oldest one left. I hardly think you will be able to read this to Satie & Harry, but you can coax Auntie to help you.
This is Harry's birth-day, And if I were home I would tell him how glad I am that he has lived so long, been so well, grown so large and so good. I think he is almost large enough to wear pants, don't you? And boots? I begin to think that I must bring him a pair when I come home. How he would strut about the room with his hands in his pockets and stamp with his boots. He then could run out of doors even if the ground was damp or wet. I remember when I was a boy I used to enjoy walking through ponds and gutters where the water came up to my knees. It was fun, too, to be out in a good, warm Spring shower. But I don't like such Shower baths now. I think Mama used to enjoy sitting on the rocks near a brook holding her bare feet in the water. I doubt if it would be fun now. A few nights ago we had a heavy shower and I was awakened by the rain coming down pat on my face. It came right through the roof of our house. You think it strange, perhaps! But our roof is made of poor linen. Being old it is somewhat like a sieve. I concluded I should not get up --- so pulled a blanket over my face and let it come. In pleasant weather it is pleasant to sleep under such a roof. Nothing then to hide from sight the beautiful moon and stars. I guess Satie would “giggle” if she could lie in bed and see the moon & stars shining down on her. I believe I have learned to love them more for seeing them so much. A little boy once thought that the moon & stars were holes through which God looked down on us & the world. I think it would make us real good if we knew that God is always looking right at us. And we may be sure of this for the Bible tells us that He always sees us.
But how are you spending this day? It is so warm here that we need no fire. I remember that on the day Harry was born I took a sleigh ride behind Charlie Black. Wouldn't you like a good old fashion sleigh ride? You have had a great deal of snow and good sleighing, I hear. We have seen snow here only once or twice and then there was scarcely enough to cover the ground. Have the birds come back to sing for you yet? They have been singing for us very sweetly for a long time---bluebirds & robins. They must be terribly frightened by the noise from so many cannons and guns. When we had our last battle two large wild turkeys flew over our regiment. I guess they thought the men had come to shoot them and they were trying to get out of the way.
There is a house a little way from us. An old woman is now there all alone excepting her cat. When the men were fighting the bullets whistled through the house and cannon balls & shells passed very near. One ball knocked off the top of the chimney. “Well,” said the old lady, “never mind, it was too high before. Only it frightens me so.” She said she was not afraid of the bullets for she watched the cat and when the cat dodged then she dodged. She used to have two negro servants but they ran away. The rebels took every thing from the house before we came. She has a bed even poorer than ours. No chairs, table, dishes or clothes and nothing to eat except what we give her. She draws water from the well in an old bottle with a string fastened about the neck. I feel very sorry for her, yet she fairs better than many, many in this land made desolate by war. I am so thankful that Mama & my dear little children are safe and happy far away from these scenes and sounds.
I am now writing on Tuesday. I think I will be able to start for home to-morrow morning. If so, I will probably see you just a week from to-night. So then this will be the last letter I shall write home from the Army. I wonder if you will all be awake when the old Stage comes rumbling in with us. I think on the very first warm day we will all take a picnic outdoors. I wish you were here to take a walk with me now. We would go down to a pond where the peepers are singing. And then to the place where the soldiers are marching. They look well now in their new clothes---brass buttons and brights guns. But I must bid you all goodbye. Take much love and many kisses from
Your Papa
